Gloomy Sunday

A friend of mine introduced me to this very mysterious name in Hungary, born on 1932, Reszo Seress dreamed of becoming a popular song writer, and at the same time writing songs was his only form of living. Unfortunately, he failed to empress the public. His fiancee, on the other hand forced him to get a full time job, but he was uncompromising and continued his passion in writing songs, which ended their relationship.

Depressed and sad of what happened, he sat on his piano in his apartment and played a very mysterious piece of which he titled "GLOOMY SUNDAY" it was a sunday evening, playing the song while the rain was falling heavily. thirty minutes later, he finshed the song and sent it to publishers and was rejected until it was finally acceted by another publisher. He was overwhelmed with happeness then.

After the song was published and exposed in the public, many strange occurencess occured. A boy in Berlin requested for the song to be played, and after listening to the song, he went home and shot himself dead. The relatives complained that the boy became depressed since he listened to the song. After a week, in the same city, a saleswoman was found hanging herself with a rope and found a copy of the song. Two days after a young secretary in New York killed herself  and found her suicide note requesting that the songs should be played during her funeral. Weeks later another New yorker jumped from his window of his seven-story apartment after playing the song. Another teenager in Rome also jumped of a bridge after the first time she heard the song. A woman overdosed herself with barbiturates, while the song was still palying.

Because of the deaths, the song was banned from being played in the public.What's even shocking was that after Seress wrote to his fiancee a letter of reconcillation, she poisoned herself and by her side was a copy of the song "Gloomy Sunday."

His song, however, was forgotten during Hitler's time.

After a long period time of oblivion, many versions of the song suddenly burst out to the public, such as Billy Holiday's version. Sarah Brigthman also sang the song, and another version of the song is included in the original sound track of the movie Blair Witch.

Personally, when i heard Billy Holiday's version, I can say that it is really sad beacuse of its lyrics, but it is also a very beautiful song. Reports say that the original version was way too sad, melancholy, death-wish-driven song, and extremely different to the several versions that burst today.

Lyrics:

Gloomy Sunday

by: Reszo Serres

"Sunday is gloomy

My hours are slumberless

Dearest the shadows I live with

Are numberless

Little white flower

Will never awaken you

Not where the black coach

Or sorrow has taken you

Angels have no thought

Of ever returning you

Would they be angry

If I thought of joining you

Gloomy Sunday

Sunday is gloomy

With shadows I spend it all

My heart and I have decided

To end it all

Soon there'll be flowers and prayers

That are said I know

But let them not weep

Let them know

That I'm glad to go

Death is no dream

For death I'm caressing you

With the last breath of my soul

I'll be blessing you

Gloomy Sunday!"

My purpose of posting this paranormal phenomenon is not to scare the readers but only to expose such forgotten story of the man that sould have been part of history. This man is a legend to me even though he lived a simple life, armed with the desire to stand up for his passion and pursue his dreams.

Gloomy Sunday - Billie Holiday version

Blindness....Our Relapse?

We are all blind
We see that in human plan
Nothing is worth the making
Unless it makes these cities glorious
If man unbuild goes
In vain we build the work
Unless the builder also grows

--Edwin Markham
Yes, society has been growing and progressing each hour of each day. People are learning within each tiny bit of a second; and within a minute, values and linear thinkings are introjected to our minds. At the course of evolution mankind was able to build the society we have now, and each structure man builds takes his precious time, spending his hours to construction sites, others to offices, school, and other institutions. The question is: Have we taken the instinct of living out of human behavior and totally relapsed it with a new brand of thinking that the human mind is not branded for?----If this new kind of thinking regresses us to stagnation instead of our personal growth? Bottom line is, man's intelligence has forgotten the human instinctual thought and human affect. Yes, people are so intelligent but they lack the emotion and the human instinctual cognition that would help them to psychological growth together with the growth of society.

Blindness is our relapse and awareness is our salvation.

Self-awareness is the key; and the rest will follow.

Cheers!

[This blog entry is copied from my previous blogsite.]

The Irony Of Moving On

Have we truly understood what it means?

Okay some person just aroused my thoughts when he told me that he has moved on. Its not that I don't believe him or anything. I cannot judge him for I am not he nor can I tell him that he lies, for I am not a Sorcerers who knows when someone is lying.

It's not that I don't have trust in people nowadays, but I just don't like the statement "I have moved on" or "naka move on nako." I'm not even sure what it means. What I am certain about is that when a person says, "I have moved on.", he is only trying to believe what he wants to believe. It's not that people are bunch of liars but sometimes they just want to believe what they want to believe. I know because I have said a million times that I have moved on because that is what I chose to believe. I cannot blame people nor can I blame my self, for sometimes we become blinded from our words, because of our thoughts. And sometimes, we are not really as keen to ourselves as we are when it comes to other poeple. Now I ask everyone, have we truly understood what introspection really is. Or have we fully practiced and mastered introspection as anyone in Wilhelm Wundt's experiments would? I doubt if I have.

But I am certain that there are a few who understand what introspection is. At least there are.

One cannot fully proclaim as he wishes when he himself does not fully comprehend what moving on means. And that he can only know when he has finally seen the truth though and within himself. Only can he declare that he has finally and truly moved on.

[This blog entry is copied from my previous blogsite.]

Faithfulness

I just come to realize that religiosity is different from faithfulness. It's just sad when I hear people say how religious they are because they pray three times a day, read the bible upon waking up and before sleeping, celebrate the Holy Eucharist everyday and go back to their household nagging their children (I'm referring to others from all walks of living). They think that they are always on the right track, and we "the non-religious"  and the "rarely-church-goers" are the ones yet to be condemned when our time comes. I don't believe that my religion teaches me anything about religiosity, but I'm certain on the one hand that It teaches me faith and Godliness. On the other hand, my religion is more than a religion, its my personal ideation that links me to my God, Jesus Christ. Or should I say a meme rather than an ideation that connects me to Him; it helps me build my relationship with Him, and the mere thought of Him stops me from doing something against His will. However, I am human, I am a sinner; sometimes I choose to do things for a reason which other human s like me cannot use it against me. No one but God alone can. I pray every night before I sleep. That's how I continuously maintain and nourish my personal faithfulness. I may not be much of a church goer as I was before, I know for sure that I am having a religion not for the sake of having one but because I have trust and belief in my religion that it will guide me along the way. And it is me that chooses which path I must go on, because I hold my life, the free will and intelligence God has given me are the tools I integrate for my own wellness. Bottomline is there is no need for a religion because I believe in my own "pop psychology" that spiritual experiences do not come from religious rituals but come from the self, although these rituals may be used as stimulus for an anticipated spiritual experience responses. My philosophy is that I am an eternal being--not necessarily a God--because I am no God. My flesh may rot, but my soul will not, for it is pure, divine and constant---an all-powerful spirit dwells within me. I am not a perfect creation of God, but God created me just perfectly.

[This blog enrty is copied from my previous blogsite.]

Forgive But Never Forget

They say that its easy to forgive but its harder to forget. Yes, I'm afraid I have to agree with it. Some so called "inspirational" or "self-help" books or whatever you might want to call them would suggest that its better to forgive and forget! (No offense, I read inspirational books a lot.) I just find it rather alarming. What does forgetting mean? Dismiss from the mind or stop remembering. Is that what it means? Dismissing could mean forcing out, or brushing aside, pushing aside, ignoring, discounting, suppressing.. Uh-huh! It's not easy to forget that it is why its never an option for me to forget. It's like nothing happened at all when for a matter of fact it did happen.

The mind has its natural way of defense, and the more the mind uses it into every situation, the more insanity can be acquired. Let's take into consideration forcing the self to forget, especially from a very strong and painful or from a traumatic experience. Since the memory is too painfully consuming causing poison to the person's emotional stability, the mind uses the natural defense mechanism to ease away the hurt and the impregnable memory, resulting in a temporary alleviation of the discomfort. Like I said, only temporary. As long as the person keeps on using these defences, or exaggerated use may result in an generation of increasing distress, and the more is the distress, the more intensified the defense mechanism becomes. Consequently exposing the self to the vulnearablity to insanity or abnormality. How do you think dissociative disorders, psychosis, eating disorders and other disability or dysfunction occur?

Well..bottom line is the brain is so powerful, can even be powerful than the other organs of the body. Physiologically speaking, it is the brain that controls every impulse happening inside the body. With the mind's power, it does two things to us; it can both help us and break us.

So why would I have to be in the state of oblivion when I can be free with remembering all my past painful experiences. Remember experience is the best teacher, regardless of the intensity of the emotion that coexist with it.

Cheers!

[This blog is copied from my previous blog site]