my hopeful resolve

i need time alone. time to think. time to search for my self. with that i need to withdraw from everyone and everything--including school, work, friends, social networks, books, movies--which is something i cannot do. there are so many things i have to accomplish, but none of them i desire doing as of the moment. i want to do nothing at all and be nothing for ones in my life, but that would kill me to death, wouldn't it? i am so confused. T_T

i wanna flea somewhere else safe--some place i can be my self and be with my self. i wanna run away, be in a fugue-like state where nothing in the past matters anymore. i wanna reach the gap between local awareness, and find my self peace. as long as i am still cuddled with chaos, anger, fear, distress, and worry, i will always see the world in blur through the lens of tears on my eyes.

with inner cleansing, i could cleanse the world. technology and everything material are things that block me. anyone sweep down on me and take me to a far, far away place. take me. please. i beg you to take me.

to another dimension, to find peace...